Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
