And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think I am morally bankrupt
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
