omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
