i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i wish my penis had a tongue
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
