walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
