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Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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