i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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