I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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