Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
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You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
They took my balls.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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