I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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