In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
