Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
