and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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