Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
