So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
