There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
