So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
