We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
