quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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