Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Randomize
