In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
