The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
