from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
