I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
