That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i was born a porn star she said
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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