Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I cannot find my penis.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Randomize
