It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
