What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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