Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Soap is not a condiment
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
