how can u be prego again
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
