I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
