Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
