my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
