I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm really busy with my period
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