I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
