Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
