It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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