So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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