I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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