so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
