dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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