please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
