You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
