her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
