Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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