another moral hangover. fuck.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
