im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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