great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize