Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
