my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
