The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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