apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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