I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
