So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
