People with herpes should wear stickers.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize