I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
