I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
