well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
