would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
