They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
